Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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