I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
