My first STD was from a foam party
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
