meet me or not, i'm out of control
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
