I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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