everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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