We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
