Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
