Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
