So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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