ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
