How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
