I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize