Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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