i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize