I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize