Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
