if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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