Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
