i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
