in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
