I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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