in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
