That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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