wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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