she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
