I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize