You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
