It's Friday. Sex?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
