CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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