And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
