you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
