He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
