I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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