For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
