I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
