take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
