my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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