not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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