i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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