yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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