thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
