Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
