can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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