Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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