I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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