How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
