Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
