miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
