Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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