I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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