Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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