This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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