and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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