I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
