if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
