I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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