Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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