Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
